"Bloomberg Snowed In", reads the headline on the Daily News. The local News channel NY1 is reporting on the recent snowfall and showing a clip of the mayor every ten minutes from earlier in the day. Mayor Bloomberg looking very ill makes the following statement, "We are analyzing the response from the various departments and we are going to see what we can improve upon for the next time." A reporter from off-camera asks, "There are rumors that the sanitation department ordered a slowdown in order to punish you for the cuts to their department." "Is there any evidence of this?" The mayor looking quite pale responds, "There is no evidence of any wrongdoing by anyone during the storm so far." If any wrongdoing is discovered those parties will be punished." "So far it appears as though it was just the amount of snow that fell in such a short period of time that made it impossible for the plows to keep up." The clip is always followed on the news by interviews with many unhappy residents of the city all having complaints about the clean-up in their area, and telling stories about how at best the storm and the following attempt to clean-up inconvenienced them and at worst endangered their lives or the lives of their loved ones. Later in the evening the Mayor thinks to himself as he is going to bed, he shivers from the flu and briefly reviews the day's events. He affirms to himself that this is not going to be how his administration is remembered. He will see to that.
A few weeks later the the mayor is within the fence of the Staten Island Zoo at the burrow of the Zoo's local celebrity named Staten Island Chuck. Chuck's handler Ken briefs the mayor on how to handle the spring predicting groundhog. Mayor Mike asks Ken if there is anything he can do which will help Chuck to see it the way that millions of winter weary New Yorkers would like Chuck to see it. Ken responds that Chuck can use a nudge in the right direction. Ken tells the Mayor, "If you really reach in there and get Chuck with the gloves in a solid grasp and get him outside the burrow and tempt him with his favorite treat then he will be less likely to return to his burrow.
About an hour later all the local press has gathered to see the Mayor of New York rouse Chuck the groundhog to see if there will be six more weeks of winter or if spring is on the way. The Mayor reaches deep into the burrow. He gets a solid grip on Chuck. The Mayor is determined to get a favorable outcome and forces him out of his burrow. No one is quite sure if Chuck sees his shadow, but everyone is keenly aware of the groundhog spinning around and biting the Mayor's hand. Mayor Bloomberg winces, grunts, and then drops poor Chuck right to the ground. Chuck sees his opportunity to get away from what is obviously a dangerous predator and go back into his warm, safe burrow. The Mayor ends up with a hurt hand, a trip to the emergency room, and a media circus. Spring will come, we will get there, and the Mayor will too. Pretty soon we will be complaining that it is too hot.
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